Sledgehammer

I Kicked The Habit. The habit of always seeing things in the "dark." The self-pity wallowing that could have taken over my entire life. There are days where I will have a really good, 10 minute, ugly, sniffling, snuffling sob fest. I get it over with and move on as best I can. Today, I am angry. I am angry at the pain and suffering that good people have to go through. I am angry at different diseases like heart disease, Hashimoto's disease, neuromuscular diseases and the big daddy of them all, cancer. I wish I could take care of everyone, but I can't. That's another habit I have to kick. Not so easy. I will get over this anger, I will. But today, just for a little while, I'm going to be angry, especially at cancer and its effect on those that I care about.

I Shed My Skin. I am who I am. I am beautiful inside and out. We all are. There are some of us who have ugly in them and I feel bad for those folks. I am hoping that it doesn't take a tragedy or a serious downfall for them to learn the lessons of faith and beauty in your fellow man or woman, whatever the case may be. It's really what's inside that counts. If there are those who still judge a book by its cover, they are probably very lonely and small on the inside. Here's hoping for their growth.

This Is The New Stuff. There are those that I have known for a long time that are probably skeptical of the changes I am making. They actually ridicule my writing and talk of love, or don't bother to read at all. I believe it's fear of change; too bad for them. I love different people for different reasons. They feed a number of needs inside of me. There are relationships that I am having to back away from, which makes me sad. But how many times can your feelings get hurt because people are too busy or don't have time to contact you or can't keep up with everything - but only when it comes to their relationship with you? Quantity doesn't always equal quality. Just because you have had someone in your life for most of it, doesn't mean they get continue to be a part of it if they hurt you. Especially when there are those who want to spend time with me and understand the life I am embracing.

I'm Gonna Build That Power. The power of positive thinking. The power of life with more optimism. The power of a healthier, prosperous future. The power of waking up each day. It's better to build on that power than to worry about what I can't control.

I Go Dancing In. Into my future, where I am surrounded by friendship and love that's overflowing. Where bad things happen to good people and they survive. Where communication is important to help us grow and learn. Into a life that I am building on a solid foundation. There is a light at the end of this long, dark tunnel that I have traveled through. It's bright and beautiful, and there to remind me that I have a gift of this life. I'm going to live it to the fullest. With love...